So as I’ve been getting more active with my blog again, I found a post I composed back in July but never finalized and posted. So after giving it a few finishing touches, here it is. Obviously a few mentions of time are inaccurate, but I thought the content was well worth the contemplation:
Last month I read a blog post at GirlTalk, a blog published by the wife and daughters of C.J. Mahaney. The post is called Because Marriage Makes Sense and it was confronting a disheartening article published by Newsweek, called “I Don’t: The Case Against Marriage.”
The authors of the Newsweek article acknowledged three reasons why “Marriage made sense.”
“It was how women ensured their financial security, got the fathers of their children to stick around, and gained access to a host of legal rights.”
The authors continued by saying that the feminist movement, among other factors, have rendered those “reasons” void.
They even ask, “If you’re going to wait [to get married], why do it at all?”
Today I just had my eyes opened to one more argument for the case against marriage – which, admittedly, only made marriage make MORE sense to me.
I overheard a young women say the following to justify flirting with a man:
“He’s got kids and a girlfriend, but he’s not married.”
Her gaggle of girlfriends, of course, gave the scolding “ooooh” – in the mist of their laughter.
And that’s exactly right.
Marriage is about the commitment. It’s about the vow.
You can “play” marriage and glean almost any benefit marriage can offer, without being married. But it won’t be marriage.
“I’m not sure if we’re ready.”
“I don’t want to be tied down.”
I’m sure you’ve heard those, and many more, excuses from those who are not getting married all while “playing” marriage.
And at the very least, I’m thankful those people realize marriage is something significant, it is something that requires commitment, and it is something that they should think long and hard about.
But more often than not, they don’t want to think about it and they don’t want to commit, so they don’t get married.
Marriage DOES tie you down. Marriage, although it has lost a lot of it’s perceived value to society, still has a “stigma.” Although an individual may not feel committed in a marriage, they recognize that marriage should maintain some level of fidelity, of seriousness, of covenant.
And so, marriage doesn’t make sense to our culture because it requires commitment. It doesn’t make sense because it ties one down in a world where we are “supposed to be” free. It doesn’t make sense because it’s hard to get out of. It doesn’t make sense because it calls one to refrain from the sinful desires to pursue the sometimes “easier”, “funner,” and “more gratifying” road.
And yet… all of those reasons are exactly why marriage DOES make sense.
And when I remember something my Dad shared with me years ago, I realize how devastating the state of marriage truly is.
Because, as my Dad pointed out to me, marriage was given as the perfect illustration of Christ and His relationship with the church.
When people wanted to know how much Christ loved us and how much He did for us and how we, as the His people, should respond, marriage was the instant “go-to”, example, picture (read Ephesians 5:21-32 if you don’t know what I’m talking about.)
Or… it should’ve been. But now… it hardly is.
Our world today has lost one of the most significant ways to comprehend Christ and our relationship with Him.
And by that alone, marriage makes the deepest sense. But, sadly, at the same time, it doesn’t make any sense…
“For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing.”
– 1 Corinthians 1:18